(Scroll down for lyrics…)

Res ipsa loquitur…

NEW! Live version of “Mitch, PLEASE!”, just voice and (synth)piano

With kind regards from the Mitch McConnell Retirement Committee (2021 update: now known as Progress Kentucky)…

Soundcloud:

YouTube:

Mitch, PLEASE!

You’d think you’d learned
After so many terms
A way for you to do more

But with poverty
Or even higher degrees
We’re still down here on the floor

On a TV ad you’re Kentucky tough
But the Bluegrass State gonna call your bluff

      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please take your money and go

And you used to fight
Against cash in campaigns
You said it was for the best

Now you ask big business
To make it rain
And fatten up that ol’ war chest

We see you’re so good takin’ care of yourself
While you’re throwin’ down crumbs on the Commonwealth

      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please take your money and go

For all the millionaires
From nearly everywhere
You’re the best friend they ever had

And you’ve made your way
To where the rich folks play
Thanks to your wife’s rich dad

While our Bluegrass keeps on getting’ worse
The only thing you care about’s a big fat purse

      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please take your money and go

        You had your chance to help our state advance
        But the only Paris that you love is back in France
        And it’s only big money that’ll make you dance
        So groovy…

        And even when you try to do something good
        We get Russian mob money from a Moscow hood
        You’re like a two-bit villain from a Hollywood
        B-movie…

They had black lung disease
So they came to DC
To try and get them some help

But all you could find:
Two minutes of your time
Pretending that you care for their health

Well they weren’t well-dressed, so they weren’t so lucky
Now you’ve run out of time to help Kentucky

      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please
      Mitch, please take your money and go

© 2020 Nate Orshan. All rights reserved.

(This is a retroactive post. I finally got around to publishing it on my site on 4/30/2021, but the music itself came out on 7/13/2020. In case you’re wondering.)